Tuesday, 29 January 2013
Blog For Mental Health 2013
I was honoured to be asked to pledge to Blog For Mental Health 2013 by Ruby Tuesday.
I was first diagnosed with depression when I was 19. I took antidepressants for 6 months and I thought I was cured. How young and naive was I please? Since then I have suffered on/off with depression, but it wasn't until last year when it came back with a vengeance and nearly killed me. I was sexually abused as a child and emotionally abused by my parents and several partners I've been with. I hated my job, realised I was gay and lost the only stable thing in my life my nana, who was my world. I was a social worker and thought I knew how to deal with depression but my world came crashing down before my eyes. I started drinking as often as possible mainly out of loneliness and to stop the pain. Then I started abusing painkillers as I wanted to get high so I wouldn't feel anything. I started self harming too, cutting, burning, pouring the kettle over me, things I never dreamt I would do. The social worker me was screaming at myself watching me self destruct but it was the only thing which I thought was making me feel better. Then last march I took a near fatal overdose and swore that I would change my life because I had been given a chance. So slowly with only the help of medication and a CPN for a few weeks I started to focus on 'recovery'. If it wasn't for my girlfriend I don't think I would be the person I am now. She made me bathe, helped me to start leaving the house again, made me eat and was there for me in general when a lot of people weren't. I know I'll never be 'cured' but each day I can feel myself getting stronger. I want to raise as much awareness as possible because stigma is still such a huge problem all over the world and education on mental health is essential for any progress to be made!
The 5 fellow bloggers I am pledging have been an inspiration, motivation and most importantly a friend when I needed one most. They all raise mental health awareness whilst kicking their own illness butts!
The Depressed Moose
The Real Supermum
Healing From BPD
Click here to see the Blog For Mental Health 2013 Official Blogroll page!